5 Simple but Powerful Ways to Reconnect with your Partner this Valentines Day

Keeping your relationship at the centre of your life is easier said than done. Work, study, children and other responsibilities can take up a huge chunk of our time. But what happens if you forget to take care of your relationship? Time spent together gradually disappears, couples drift apart over months and years and can become strangers. Often couples come to counselling when one or other realises there is a lack of intimacy in the relationship and they want to understand why. Looking at the time they actually connect with each other can bring a realisation of how low they both prioritise each other. Dinner out once a year on Valentine’s Day may not be enough to keep the magic alive. 

If you feel this is happening to you there are five simple but powerful ways you can use to reconnect with your partner.

1. Prioritise your Relationship

Relationship need time and attention to thrive. Make space to talk to each other each and every day. Ten minutes before work or bed to show interest in their day, be kind or to say something tender will show that you are focusing on and value each other.

2. Be Kind

Simple acts of kindness towards each other show you are attentive and care. They can communicate your love and respect much better than a box of chocolates. Simple politeness such as saying thank you for that cup of tea or complimenting their study achievements, parenting or cooking skills can go a long way and not take for granted the effort involved.

3. Create Rituals

It’s important to establish rituals throughout the week with each other such as making time to share a cup of tea in the morning or going on that dog walk together. Try to eat meals together without the TV or phones to distract. It provides the time and space to just be with each other. Remember, that’s why you got together in the first place. Plan a weekend break or holiday. This can give you both something to look forward to and can help build happy shared experiences and memories. However, if your relationship is in trouble, don’t assume booking a holiday will fix it. Talking to an experienced couples therapist is a better use of time and money.

4. Support One and Other

One of the best parts of our relationship,” a client told me recently, “is that I know my partner is on my side. My previous relationships didn’t always feel like this.”

Whatever your partners goals are in life make sure you know what they are and are there to support them. Who else will do this – the boss they dislike, the kids? Compliment each other and talk about what you appreciate and enjoy about each other.

5. Empathise

If things have been difficult between you recently and you feel a distance in the relationship, take time to think about what is going on for your partner. Have they been stressed about work, finances or their health perhaps? When we feel stress we can withdraw from those around us. Consider how you might feel in their situation and what you might be able to offer in terms of support to help them feel better. Listen and hear what they say and take time to respond emphatically. They will see the effort and appreciate the kindness.

Comments

  • laura.richardson
    12th February 2020 at 5:18 pm

    Great tips here and a good reminder for us all, thanks for sharing.

Add a comment